Currently Listening Graduation By Kanye West see related

A taste of what's to come

after a near 6 month hiatus from xanga, i've decided to return. 

the appetizer

during my post-a-lot days, i would be inspired by a lot of various things to post about.  normally, i'd see a person do something stupid, and my way of helping them would be to post 5 reasons why they should never do it again.  forunately, working with customers, you're never short of a few (enormous amount of) idiots. 

servers are not slaves.

my mom, being the writer that she is, has always encouraged/nagged me to journal about my experiences as a server and the customers that i deal with, which will one day at best become a "read on the toilet" book.  but there seems to be a truth in this:  it's unfortunate that not everyone has the opportunity (or forced to) work in retail/customer service/food service.  you wouldnt believe how many people i run into that act like the king and queen of england and slave me around, but tip like they're living off food stamps. 

how many times have you gone out with your friends to a restaurant and are $30 short on the bill?  unforunately ive gone out with a lot of my friends who have no idea how to behave in a restaurant.  so the next series is dedicated to my mom and sister who always ask me my latest restaurant stories - and its basically meant for all the people setting asians back 5 years by their cheap ways and inability to learn how to behave in public. 

dont get me wrong, before i worked in restaurants i was probably one of the worst customers ever.  and im sure a lot of people can give me advice in a lot of areas in life (i.e. studying) but from the viewpoint of a server, there are as many expectations for our customers as you have of us.  what i'm basically trying to do is save donkeys out there from embarassment at the expense of my own race, by educating people on the do's and dont's of dining out - and exploit all the moron customers ive had over the years to you

miketionary:

1.  jc
    1.  flirt
    ex.  "imma a jc...soon as i see her walk up in the club im a jc"
    2.  smart guy
    ex.  "im not in the mood for you being all jc with me right now, you're pissing me off"
    3.  laughing partner
    ex.  "i have never laughed harder in my life than after mexicali when i had my jc there"
    4.  victory dance
    ex.  "after you win, you have to gloat and then do the jc, so victory taste that much sweeter and defeat is that much more bitter for them"

Currently Listening Special Occasion By Bobby Valentino Anonymous see related

E-prop-iphany

epiphany - a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurence or experience (thanks dictionary.com)

Where has mike yamada been recently!? 

you kno, just doin my thing with the super nag friends, or playing pharisee in front of a little mexican girl or being able to stare at one of God's creations at the grand canyon.  but i got an epiphany the other day sitting at tapex after the last aacf large group from none other than the starter of eYamada (which hasnt been updated, sorry)

Jennshiphany!  it occured when she simply stated "you've been in sd this whole quarter!? i feel hurt.  of course, when you've gone to uci's aacf more this past quarter than you have ucsd's...i understand.  notice how im picture NOT.  i mean, NOT a picture.  or i AM in the picture........NOT. 

enough of where i havent been...but where have i been and where can you expect me to be..

i think one of the biggest things to happen in the last month was seeing my sister get married. 

everyone at the wedding kept saying how micah married up.  which (and i kno this is a glass half empty way of thinkin) means that christie married down.  yamada's kinda got the short end of that stick...

weddiphany!  seeing someone so close to you get married is pretty surreal.  going to vegas with the groomsmen, seeing micah everytime im at home, and even wedding rehearsals dont really prepare you.  when i saw my sister for the first time in her white dress and seeing how happy she was i realzied that its actually happening.  a lot of people ask me "do you like micah" and i joke about what a loser he is but i really believe that him and my sister were meant for each other, and i do really respect and admire him a lot. 

goodbye SDipphany!  its hard to imagine that after 3 years im leaving sd and doing something id never thought id do in moving home.  but, my parents finally matured enough that i feel we can get along. 

i was talking to my new york footprint jdang one day when i could be quoted saying "when i move home" and that was before i had told anybody that i was even thinkin about moving home.  well back when jdang and i talked (hint hint) it made me realize that after praying and thinkin about it for about 4 months that i was coming home for sure. 

as far as goodbye sd posts, kamada just wrote one, but heres my short list

some things ill miss for sure
1.  sorrentinos philly cheesesteak!
2.  robertos polla asada fries
3.  the freedom
4.  aacf
5.  closeness in vicinity of friends

and things i can live without
1.  rent
2.  5 north on a friday afternoon
3.  parking, and how crappy it is

japiphany!  i have the opportunity to serve overseas in okinawa japan from july 12-26.  im real excited by the opportunity as well as interested to see what God has in store.  the team is made up up families from evergreen and i have the chance to serve with my mom as two of the 8 members.  i also have the chance to use my "gifts" of xanga and be the official team blogger. 

i remember explaining to my parents one of my desires during my time away from school was to use the freedom of schedule to serve God in different countries.  i have had the opportunity to be in mexico twice this year and am going to japan.  however it was my mom who got me the application for japan missions except she got them to me 2 weeks overdue.  when my mom told me who else was applying she named off all families, either in twos or fours or even a whole family.  she asked me if i wanted to go (by myself) and i was like well why dont you come too?  but when i found out the applications were due two weeks before i shrugged it off with a "next time" attitude but it was my mom who said we should fill them out anyways and see what happens. 

mt hermiphany! so the last time i was at mt hermon was 3 years ago.   the one on the left i was a freshman in high school and the one on the right im a freshman in college.  i had my heart set on cabin leading high school this year when i, out of no where started hanging out with a bunch of first years and seniors.  seeing how they're all heading to college camp, and the reason i wanted to go to high school was to have serious talks with my cabin about things they're going through, i thought about the countless curfewless hours you have at college camp. 

bingo bango time!

and as for the rest of the summer or what im up to?  ill be in LB working, schooling, churching among other things until God calls me elsewhere.  you can find me flying on tatus at six flags, eating at sonics in fullerton, ballin at lawry's, splurging at abercrombie, or gaming on my new ds.

whats that d wade? sexaaaayyyyyyyyy

mikelopedia:

christie yamada gilmore.  sister of michael yamada.  2nd favorite child of tommy and debbie yamada.  recently married to micah gilmore.  christie its crazy, ill admit - and its still sinking in the fact that you're now a newlywed and no longer a yamada.  aside from the fact that i always thought i'd beat you, im excited and happy for you and your marriage with micah.  starting from back in december and the engagement, til the weeks before the wedding and on your big day, ive never seen you so happy.  im gonna miss having you one room away from me, and its only a sad consolation that i get to turn that into my new entertainment room when i move home.  christie, this really isnt a mikelopedia but more of a public letter of what i wanted to say to you with the big change in your life recently.  we're growing up.  im really proud to be your brother and i wish you all the luck with this next season that God has blessed you with.  its been amazing seeing you grow over the years, seeing how God has molded you into the woman of God you are today.  lucky guy, that micah.

Currently Listening Cassie By Cassie Long Way to Go see related

she loves me, she loves me NOT

one of the things girls hate most about being a girl (aside from monthly duties) is telling a guy that its not going to work out.  and as much as guys can argue that it takes a lot of balls to ask a girl out, it is not a fun activity to shoot a guy down.  but girls are faced with a tricky situation because they do not want to lead a guy on, be a heartbreaker, or be completely ambiguous.  for the most part, girls want to let the guy down easy to avoid scarring him for life and sucking up all his confidence.  but usually, a good number of guys dont know how to take no for an answer or just straight up dont get it.  its hard for me, because when a girl tells me shes not into a guy whos into her i feel like im breakin a man law by saying tell him straight up, but honestly thats not the easiest way to go but usually the best.  and like a lot of things i write about, many of these scenarios are situational - meaning there isnt a clear "this is how its done"

the girls primary objective:  it is the lesser of two evils to rip a guys heart out initially than to string him along.  if you tell a guy straight up that its not working, you save him the hope of whats never going to come.  however the general approach is to let the guy down easy (by being nice) and the message is not always clearly sent. 

the guys primary objective:  be aware.  girls do not want to break your heart.  they want you to just realize its not going to work without hurting you, if youre oblivious to all their hints they might have to come down harder.  dont go in blind!  if you kno the answer is no then dont ask the question. 

ex. Girl responses

excuse me miss

excuses.  "im busy"  "i have to study"  "im hanging out with the girls"  "i have to wash my hair"  "im allergic to your face"  if a girl gives you excuses with not alternative day for the date then its a no go.  do not be mr persistent if shes an excuse me miss

date definer

if you ask "lets hang out" and she says "as friends or a date?" that generally means like "i hope it isnt" cuz otherwise id be an immediate yes.  but a playful smiley "is it a date?" could be a good thing cuz shes sorta like fishing for compliments.  but if she simply asks "as friends?" then switch to plan b, and get to kno her better on that level.

heartbreaker

most girls do not want to hurt guys.  some do.  just dont act interested with these girls, play hard to get, dont give them any edge (but let them think they have one) and turn the tables on them because they probably deserve it.  heartbreakers will want what they cant have. 

analyzing responses

guy:  hey what are you doin this weekend?  we should grab dinner and hang out or something...
girl:  oh yea - we totally should, im hanging out with my bff so us three can do something!

a defense mechanism used by girls when they're not comfortable hanging out one on one is bringing along their bff.  this scenario doesnt seem to say that the girl is not interested, she may just want to get to know you on a group level first.  is she into you?  it depends how long you've known each other, if you just met, it may be a step in the right direction.  if her resopnse is something like "who else is coming"  she may a) be unaware that you just tried to ask her out or b) uncomfortable hanging out one on one - but in either case, she isnt expecting to hang out one on one - go to plan b and have a group hangout.

guy:  hey what are you doing this weekend?  we should grab dinner and hang out or something...
girl:  oh im sorry, im super busy right now and i have a lot of things on my plate
guy:  oh yea?  that sounds rough...maybe we could talk about it over coffee or something
girl:  im sorry, but i dont even think i can think about dating...things just ended with this other guy and im not ready for anything with anyone

ouch.  bro should have taken the hint with "super busy right now."  if a girl is busy, but shes into you, she'd change her response into something like "oh im really busy right now, but i really want to hang out too :) - how about at the end of the month?"  to me, if a girl is into you or at least interested - she'll make time.  "super busy" is never a good sign.  

guy:  hey what are you doing this weekend?  we should grab dinner and hang out or something...
girl:  oh yea how about saturday cuz i have a date friday that im gonna want to tell you about

at least she didnt call you trash directly.  but that is how you feel. 

guy:  hey what are you doing this weekend?  we should grab dinner and hang out or something...
girl:  i would rather eat a gallon of mayo then go on a date with you.

this means "no"  because mayo is the nastiest substance in the universe and she used it as a better alternative than going out with you.  duh brickhead

girls:  do not become yes-whores.  if you cant turn a guy down because you are "too nice" and proceed to unintentionally lead him on then its the same result.  its even worse because you dont kno the evil youre doing.

guys:  do not force the issue.  feel out the situation by flirting or having talks on the phone or in person to see if theres chemistry and not just because she looks good in those jeans.  and also....

pre-asking exercises - the objective being to get a better idea of where she stands, if after these exercises theres not a good response - then dont ask and set yourself up for rejection

talk it up - for myself at least,  ive never asked a girl out who i havent talked to previously.  ive always talked to her in person, aim, phone, hung out in groups or things like that. 

if you ask a girl out and you havent had a real conversation - she knows its a date - and not a "hangout as friends" and this my scare her.  why?  because you technically arent friends if youve never talked.  girls generally look for a)someone they kno previously and b) someone who knows how to carry a conversation and c) moneybags

flirting games - this is really key because it can give you a feel of where she stands by her reactions to your actions.  yes, some girls are just plain flirty.  so you have to take than into account.  but by flirting with the girl you can gauge how it would be if its just you two.  if theres not much interaction, it might be awkward city when its just the two of you.

ex.  if youre washing dishes together, splash water on her and see how she reacts.  she may become your next gf if she splashes back.

inside man - another tactic ive always tried to use is having someone on the inside.  someone that approves of me for the girl and feeds me info or name drops for me.  girls talk all the time - its important information so find a way to get it!  how do you get a girl on the inside?  hook her up with some hot guy and she'll do whatever you ask.

fuggin figure it out - just figure out if shes a fugger or not.  it avoids awkwardness and thats something you dont want between you and a girl youre pursuing.   seriously.

compare and contrast - if a flirty girl is flirty with you, that means absolutely nothing.  if a fugger fugs you that means nothing.  look closely at her interaction with you compared to that of other guys.  how does she treat you differently?  dont just solely look on actions themselves.

in conclusion: a lot of girls have stressed to me that you cant assume things as guys.  a lot of times a girls niceness can be misread as i like you.  a lot of unnecessary drama could be avoided if you do a little research, be aware and pay a little attention to the hints.  yes, girls are hard to read, which is why guys should seek all the help they can.  another word to the guys.  dont get all butt hurt over one girl turning you down because you "did your best."  cuz as sad as it is, some people are just not compatible.  and if youre as great as you claim to be then im sure youll hae no trouble finding another lady friend. 

girls - you can never go wrong being straight up honest.  but be careful of the hints you may be sending and your level of flirtyness especially if the guy is sherlock holmes and will look into everything and anything.  girls need to be aware themselves, so they arent leading a guy on when they arent aware of it.

miketionary:

1.  uji
    1.  short
    ex.  "i can get a handicap sticker now that im 18 because im so uji, im legally handicap!"
    2.  monotone
    ex.  "you cant tell im excited when i talk because im always so uji"
    3.  nerd
    ex.  "im sorry, i cant go on a date with you because im an uji and have to study...even though its summer"
    4.  to live oso far
    ex.  "if you want me to pick u up i have to fill up my gas tank 5 times because you live so uji away from me"

Currently Listening Minutes to Midnight By Linkin Park What I've Done see related

Heebie or Holla?

  WHAT is heebie?

the creepy guy from theres something about mary, isla fisher in wedding crashers was pretty sheeb (but she was hot, so that really lowers her sheeb status), and the butler in mr deeds was very very sneeeaaaky and potentially heebie

heebie is the sense of uncomfort a girl receives from a guy.  i first heard this word at mt hermon and it is quickly becoming the asian girl response to the question "why arent you into him"

it was told to me that heebie comes from "heebie jeebies" as in "he gives me the heebie jeebies"

sheebie is the female equivalent

FYI:  heebie is generally not on the list of turn ons (neither is sheebie)

note:  before we proceed its best to note that most heebs and sheebs dont kno that they're heebs and sheebs.  think about it, if they knew that their behavior was one of the worst labels do you think they'd keep at it?  no, what they do is perceieved through their eyes as normal.  heebs cannot detect other heebs.  if you, by the end of this post, cannot label these people in your life then you're probs one of them. 

HOW to heebie a girl out or sheebie a guy out

verbally - things that you say that shouldnt be said, thinking out loud with no disgression

ex.  "i'd like to touch your butt, it looks extremely hot today"
       "i love you i miss you" (when you arent close with the person)
       "you dont kno it yet, but we're meant to be together, you're the one"

physically - unnecessary touching, heebie handshake, excessive fugging, rubbing or caressing

ex.  "we were just standing there and he started rubbing my back out of no where! so heebie!"
       "after he fugged me he held me there for 15 seconds, let go already!"
       "that girl wouldnt stop hitting me and touching my arms, and then she layed on me cuz she was 'tired'"

positionally - someone who always finds it necessary to position themselves close to you, increases propinquity by finding out your schedule and makes "accidental run ins" not so accidental

ex.  "why is it necessary for this girl to always stand near me?  
       "so now he goes to my fellowship, my small group, hangs out with us on the weekends, my church, i see him after classes..."

generally - heebs and sheebs make their victim feel sick.  their overaggression, over affection, and over attention all lead to a nauseating feeling

ex.  "wow he's gross, i feel like i just dove into a vomit pool"
       "can she stop touching me?  its not cute anymore, and the more you touch me the uglier you start to look"

whats the difference?

this is heebie street, and its only one way

for those of you who seem to be confused as to what is wrong with the following actions then you're probably heebie yourself.  but if youre thinking wait...what if she likes being fugged?  or getting flattered?  or constant accidental run ins?  heebie is a one way street, the difference between heebie and holla is:

the girl likes it. 

this means one of two things, the desireable one being that she likes you and is accepting your behavior and likely reciprocating it accordingly.  or, shes sheebie herself.

if she likes you - its HOLLA time. 

its ok to say things like "lets have a make out sesh" to your girlfriend, its ok to hold her hand or fug her for hours, and its ok to kno her daily schedule.  girls like guys who give them attention, affection, and probably monetary gifts somewhere in there as well.  however, unwanted affection and attention is heeb status. 

labels

probably one of the worst gamekillers for a guy is to be labled a heeb.  girls pay attention to labels, everybody wants their chanel sunglasses, burberry scarves, and coach purses because all girls know they're the best.  girls will generally follow the opinions of other girls, if you're labeled a heeb you will get no play inside of your circle of friends.  this is why heebs must go for the new girls who dont kno that theyre heebie yet.

after being educated on heebs and sheebs, hopefully you've labeled them and now learn to shake the sheeb

if you encounter a labeled heeb, the best things to do are...

-make sure youre not alone! 
-get out of arms reach (prevents touching)
-find safe guys/girls (intimidating) to hide behind or talk to
-attempting to ignore results in a slow death of nag nag nag nag
-be blatant, heebs have a thick head that protect them from hearing rejective statements
-dont lend them clothing, if a sheeb is cold, tell her to bring a jacket next time
-dont accept clothing from a heeb, remember that being cold is better than being hyped out
-act like you're pmsing and make a scene, even heebie guys understand that barrier
-stop cracking jokes and get in a serious mood, like seriously tired of their sheeb crap.
-build immunities to GTing

because of this thing called "the internet" heebs and sheebs no longer are restricted to in-person hype out sessions, facebook, myspace, and aim give rise to all sorts of tactics.

-dont add them
-ignore their messages of "i miss you" - actually ignore altogether
-avoid getting GTed into being their friend
-dont use your normal "<3" or "!!!" those show love and excitement which you dont have when talkin to them

in closing:  heebies and sheebies are clueless to their behavior so its up to you to put a stop to it

miketionary:

1.  sugi "YAY"
    1.  sunshine in the morning
    ex.  "when im grumpy in the morning, theres nothing like a sugi smile to get me ready for the day!"
    2.  sarcasm that rivals mike yamada
    ex.  "i wasnt serious, i really dont think you're that stupid, gosh start understanding suginese"
    3.  to exclaim YAY after every activity
    ex.  "we got fish tacos SUGI!"
    4.  to hate stupid people, and smart people that act stupid
    ex.  "you're such an idiot, you're lucky im not sugily otherwise id hate you"

Currently Listening Ice Box Icebox (remix) see related

stop trippin!

how and when to use and not use GT, and how to defend against GTers

WHAT is GT?  GT, if you havent figured it out yet is guilt tripping. 

1.  guilt tripping
     1.  sending someone on a free trip to guilt land 
     ex.  "thats the last time i flake out on mike and jt, they guilt tripped me for hours"
     2.  a last desperate attempt to win a girls heart because obviously your personality and everything else about you is not good enough
     ex.  "well, she doesnt like me for who i am, but if she's a yes whore, i think i can still guilt trip her into dating me"

guilt tripping can be fun when its deserved, it can be annoying when overused, and it can be desperate when wrongly used. 

when GTing is ok

when someone says they're gonna do something, and they dont, they flake out on you, i think its ok to GT them.  say for example that the single guy in the picture, mr craig terasawa flaked out on us 3 weekends in a row, and maybe had a legit reason for 2 of those weekends, but no real legit reason to not return our phone calls. 

when its their fault - let them know it

1.  make them feel as guilty as possible (feel free to exaggerate)
we just wanted to make fun of you ---> we planned the whole night around your interests and your favorite things
we just wanted to make fun of you ---> we miss you
someone else had to become the butt of every joke ---> we missed what you bring to the table, it wasnt complete without you

2.  have everyone join in, numbers produce greater guilt

3.  remind them that youre just kidding, that they are truly missed and if they do it again they're gonna get it worse

(im jk craig)

when not to GT

you dont guilt trip a girl to go out with you, date you or like you. 

for those of you too thickheaded to understand this, love should be something natural, that you shouldnt have to try so hard to get the girl to like you, it should be easy if you're supposed to be together.  if you guilt trip a girl into liking you or starting off a relationship - you're starting off on the wrong foot and it probably wont go too far. 

ive been around a lot of relationships, and two of my closest friends have been victim of borderline psycho guilt trip incidents. 

i had a friend of mine who wanted to end things with a girl.  she didnt.  he stopped picking up his phone and she left a message that said "i know youre listening to this right now (now thats just creepy talk) if you dont pick up the phone, for every 30 min i will take a dose of vicodin, and if i OD and die its going to be your fault)  who does that.

yea, thats attractive, i want to go out with you!

and a number of times ive had girls come to me with the problem saying a guy bought her something and after a few dates or whatever she's clearly not into him.  and then the guy plays the GT card and says "but i bought you..."

ex.

girl:  "i dont think we should date (im not into you at all)"
guy:  "but, i bought you an elephant! (look how good of a potential bf i would be)"
girl:  "i never asked for an elephant (yes, i see what kind of guy you are), you can have it back ( i dont want your crap)"
guy:  "im insulted that you would even think i would take the elephant back (i have nothing else to say)"
girl:  "well thats too bad, either way, youre not going to get me back (bye loser)"

maybe an elephant as the object is stupid and blown out of proportion but really, guys - dont buy girls things big presents up front as an edge to GT them later about it - it makes you look like youre trying to buy her love up front, she may feel that shes a golddigger if she accepts, and if you use it to GT later you look even worse in her eyes than before. 

how to stop GT

1.  admit

if you flake out, and youre getting GTed the crap out of you, just say "you're right guys, i did flake out, im a loser, im sorry"  - this will take all the fun out of their game.  it also takes all the fun out of everything, use as last resort

2.  tell them you didnt do anything

if the GTer is trying to get you because they bought you something that you didnt ask for, you're not at fault, you simply say they have no edge on you and move on

3.  GT the GTer

if you kno and realize what they're doing - do it back!  if they say they had a bad time cuz you werent around tell them that you had to be home cuz youre dog died and then they'll feel bad that they GTed you - and they cant get mad at you for exaggerating or GTing them because they're just getting a taste of their own medicine.

4.  tell all your friends

this way of stopping is definately not instant gratification, but if you tell all your friends how much of a loser the person is for GTing all the time, it will eventually make it back to them and then they'll feel all butt hurt because everyone is talkin about them behind their back.

miketionary:

1. daniel saechang 
    1.  to ask to be miketionaried
    ex.  "what?  i havent been mikeitonaried yet?  i need to daniel saechang it so i can be!"
    2.  to play dumb when talking about girls
    ex.  "just tell me who you like and stop being a daniel saechang and acting like we're in 3rd grade"
    3.  to make fun of his brothers weight
    ex.  "i dont have an older fatter brother, so i cant daniel saechang it throughout the mexicali bonding time"
    4.  to love pho
    ex.  "pho is gross, im obviously not a daniel saechang"